I really have nothing new or original to add to the dialogue on this, the 12th anniversary of 9/11. I’ve told my “where I was” stories before and I think we’re all a little gobsmacked that it’s already been a dozen years since that day.
One seemingly trivial tidbit I remember in the aftermath is that filmmaker Ed Burns and supermodel Christie Turlington, who had endured an on-again, off-again relationship for years, said 9/11 made them both realize it was time to stop playing around. They married and now have two children.
Another phenomenon I notice more of since that day, and perhaps it’s also a function of maturity or the people I surround myself with, is a lack of pretense among people. Folks admit their shortcomings and insecurities more readily. I’ll give you an example. A former radio colleague who retrained and reeducated to become a teacher years ago dropped by on the last long weekend. It was great to see him and to meet his new (to me) wife. We got to reminiscing about our days as coworkers at CHML in Hamilton, going back more than 15 years.
When talk turned to our current careers we found that we had one main element in common: we both admitted we hope we’re never “found out” as feeling wholly unqualified to do what we do! It was said tongue in cheek but also with some sincerity. In my friend’s opinion, ‘Everybody feels this way.”
Does everybody feel this way? It’s one thing to have confidence, which I do. But to also feel like you just muddle your way through the nuts and bolts of the job, doing the best you can as opportunities to make decisions come up, is something my pal says is universal. I suppose this is what ego masks. When I think of longtime news anchors and radio hosts of the past the ones I knew personally were mostly blustery blowhards who wouldn’t dare consider, at least on the outside, that they may have made an incorrect decision. They thought of it – so it must be right! I’m happy to say I’m not like that.
Does everyone feel like a bit of a fraud? You may not have ever articulated it. But if you do, here’s your chance.
Every day – without exception – I find myself thinking and wondering how I could have executed a bit, a contest, a story telling better than I did. I wonder how someone else might have handled it; wonder if listeners can see through the serene and gliding duck to the frantically paddling webbed feet just below the surface. Fortunately, time and age have given us the wisdom to remember that (in our line of work, at least) nobody dies if you get the year wrong, walk on a vocal or mispronounce a celeb’s name. It doesn’t lessen our desire to get it right, but the more years we log, the bigger the picture gets and – hopefully – the clearer the perspective. Thanks for that reminder. So much to remember today.
I remember watching your TV commercials years ago, long before I knew you, and thinking “she’s got it made – no worries!” I should have known better – that there are actually more worries when you’re at the top because you get there by sweating the small stuff. It all matters. I just hope that as time goes on we give ourselves a break for being human! I know I do. I don’t beat myself up for mistakes even as I try harder than ever not to make them!