Attack of the Killer Bees – August 8, 2006

One of the juniper bushes out back is sticking way out and interfering with the enjoyment of the slide into the pool.   We were in a landscaping frame of mind yesterday, Wray cut a swath through the front and we’re making headway on cleaning things up, so when he went out to run some errands I thought I’d work on that juniper. It’s a prickly thing, and I was very surprised to see it was all dead inside. As I crouched beside it and pulled a branch toward me, something seemed odd, besides all of the brown leaves. And then it hit me. A cloud of something buzzing was coming out and aiming for me.

I screamed at the dogs RUN! and I scooted as fast as my little legs would take me. For a second, I considered jumping in the pool as the cloud of angry unidentified flying objects began stinging me on my shoulders and neck, but I knew the dogs wouldn’t jump in with me and I would be leaving them vulnerable to the mob. So I ran. We ran! Sammy and Lee Roy didn’t hesitate and we sprinted for the gate as searing pain erupted on my body and the cloud moved with me. I don’t really remember it, but someone was screaming so it must have been me. And I must have been tearing off my clothes as I ran because – and this is embarrassing – I was topless by the time I reached the sunroom! Fortunately we have a private back yard, but I really didn’t give it a thought. The little bastards were buzzing up my shirt and I had to get them out. I still had some of them on me, poking their pointy little ass needles into my skin. The pain! We all got inside the sunroom and I pulled the sliding door shut. I still had one on me, so I pulled it off and threw it and took the dogs into the house. My shoulders, neck and chest were beet red and huge welts began to rise. It was freaky! I had been stung well more than a dozen times.

I settled down a bit and Erin Davis called. Good thing she did because she noticed my speech was slurring and ordered me to immediately get an antihistimine!! It helped within a few minutes. We have booked a pest control company to come tomorrow and eradicate those awful things. Revenge will be mine! Moo-waa-haaa-haaa! That’ll teach them to attack me.