In Conversation with my Dermatologist – December 13, 2007

The scene: the doctor’s office, as his kindly face is within millimetres of mine, perusing the eradication of a minor skin issue. And we pick things up mid-conversation:

Dr. H: You have bunny lines!

Me: Bunny lines? What are bunny lines?

Dr. H: (grabbing the most powerful mirror on the planet and holding it up so I can see myself in all my 50x magnified glory) Squint!

Me (squinting): Do you mean my nose?

Dr. H: Yes! See those? They’re just like when a bunny sniffs. They’ll eventually make permanent lines if you don’t take care of them.

Me (noticing the lines completely disappear when I stop squinting): Oooookay…

Dr. H: What about your eyes?

Me: What about them?

Dr. H (patiently): Crow’s feet my dear.

Me: I’ve earned them from laughing! They don’t bother me.

Dr. H: Yet. But you need to attack them early!

Me: Ooookayyyy.

Dr. H: Would you like a brow lift?

Me: My brows are falling too?

Dr. H: You haven’t noticed?

Me (joking): Look away! I’m hideous!!

Dr. H (serious): No, you’re a beautiful woman. I’m talking about grades of beauty. I could make you MORE beautiful!

Me: Well, I’ll give it some thought, ok? But for now, can we just get back to……