Well, I’m a Belieber inasmuch as I can’t wait for the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber to air next week.
Just about any adult who has watched this teen sensation go from a kid who spent his first years in a home for unwed mothers to multi-millionaire pop sensation has wanted to wag their forefinger at him and tell him to stop screwing around. From egging a neighbour’s mansion to hanging out with soul-and-income-sucking rappers to peeing in public, Bieber has needed an authority figure to straighten him out for a long time.
Well he got that and more last weekend at the Comedy Central Roast. As he walked the red carpet with his Mom, they admitted they knew what they were in for – scathing comments about any and everything he has ever done from some of the most vicious, funny people in entertainment. Kevin Hart hosted and Martha Stewart apparently killed it with her jail jokes. Comedy Central is wise to tape the show and decide what should air because, for example, some attempted gags about Paul Walker’s fatal car crash fell like pumpkins off a rooftop, as they should. They’ll be edited before the broadcast.
So here are a couple of the best zingers from the star-studded event, including a final salvo from the 21-year-old pop singer himself.
“Lately a lot of people have been pointing their fingers at you — and those are just lesbians showing the barber how they want their hair cut.” Jeffrey Ross
“Last year you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-un didn’t even score that low, and he uses your music to torture people.” Shaquille O’Neal
“This kid has spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs.”Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy
After saying he wasn’t proud of his behavior in the last few years, Bieber promised to do better. And then hit them with this: “What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million?” he asked. “A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”
The roast airs March 30th and in Canada it’s on the Comedy Network.