You can have Jennifer Lopez. Give me Phoebe Cates. Take Margot Robbie and leave Leelee Sobieski with me.
I have loads of respect for people who walk away from something that no longer fulfills them. Or when they have a bigger desire or goal. Sticking with the thing you’ve always done is the easier way to go. It takes courage to walk the road less traveled.
Few Celebrities Do It
Phoebe Cates was one of the hottest things in showbiz after Fast Times at Ridgemont High. She married Kevin Kline and chose a different kind of life after a few more films. They’ve been married more than thirty years.
Sobieski is a terrific actress. I loved her as the geek in Never Been Kissed. But after making twenty movies she decided to embrace family life and now she’s a painter and sculptor. Daniel Stern of Home Alone fame also sculpts and raises cattle on his farm instead of acting. He grows and juices tangerines, too.
Leaving the big money, attention, and fame isn’t for everyone. But I admire someone who follows the itch to scratch another kind of life.
Old School Ways
In my parents’ day, you hung in there no matter what because security mattered. Their parents struggled through the Depression and it left an indelible mark on them. If the boss treated you like shit, well, they’re the boss: suck it up buttercup. You’re lucky to have that job so don’t make waves and screw it up. I drank that Kool-Aid for many years and only now wish I’d walked away from some situations. You’ll never hear me tell a young person to stick it out because, “that’s what I did.” Don’t do as I did. Do what’s right for you.
Even so, my dad left the relative security of working for CN Rail to start his own company. For a time, he was wildly successful. It’s amazing to me now because he didn’t finish high school or have any special business training. He was fueled by wanting to provide for his family.
As I was writing this post, the Toronto Star published a piece over the weekend about “conscious unbossing.” Millennial and Gen Z women are finding that being the boss is more trouble than it’s worth. The Star spoke to some who bailed on corporate life and did their own thing. I was a radio station Program Director for about a year before I fled for a less stressful life. I took a job as a radio host again and abandoned the management path. Sometimes quitting is best for one’s physical and mental health.
Halloween was the eighth anniversary of my departure from full-time work into my own freelance business. It’s been terrifying, satisfying, delightful and sometimes awful. And I wouldn’t change it for anything. I don’t miss working for The Man, although I sometimes miss The Man’s benefits package. Unpredictable and sometimes roller-coaster income takes a while to get used to. But once you learn to rely on yourself, there’s nothing like it.