General

black outlines of people with various disabilities: walking with a cane, ina wheelchair, etc. Above them it reads: some disabilities look like this. Below them it reads, some look like this and the drawing is of a man just standing there.

Diss Ability

When you see me, you’d never guess that I’m disabled. But, with hearing loss and by wearing hearing aids, I have a disability. It doesn’t require anything from anyone else except perhaps a little extra patience when I’m having trouble hearing them.

Nosebleed Loophole

A couple went to a show at London’s Budweiser Gardens. It was a last-minute decision and they purchased seats in the only section available – the nosebleed section. Their heads were touching the ceiling. It was so high (how high was it?) Cheech and Chong were up there with them. They couldn’t see through the clouds. You get the idea.

Outside of a Canadian Tire store

Retail Therapy

I shopped like I was training for the Olympics when I was a teen. With a girlfriend or two, or my Mom, I could make a day of a trip to Eastgate Square in Hamilton. Back then, there were other great places to visit nearby including Boo-Boo’s (the latest denim with minor flaws) and Mother’s Pizza for lunch. (“Pick your Mother’s up or we’ll run her over!”)

Centre-Middle-Thingy

As a child of the late 60s and the 70s, it always irked me when people called a 45 centre a “spider”. “Oh, that’s what it was called”, they said. “They”, being amateur historians who weren’t there when 45s were the most popular way to play music and needed the special bit of plastic to fit them onto a record player spindle! Harrumph, and other sounds of indignation…

a selection of makeup in tubes, bottles and powder with brushes

Metrosexual Makeup

Occasionally, my husband develops a blotch on his skin. As a human being, he is as susceptible to skin changes. When this blotch is red, I will invariably suggest that he allow me to dab on a little bit of concealer. He will invariably recoil in horror and run like a cheetah to another room.