How to Own a Human

A special bond sometimes forms between higher and lower life forms. By higher, I mean, of course, we cats. And lower obviously refers to animals of the two-legged variety. Perhaps my fellow felines could glean some wisdom from the way I communicate with and – yes – possess my favourite human bean.

Little Lavatory Laments

I perceive myself as a lady, a delicate flower, a feather-light being who flows through the world like a gentle breeze. So I’m not likely to engage in discussions about crass and vulgar topics. I keep my bathroom habits private. Well, I used to, until recent developments made it impossible. But I assure you, my little rosebuds, that there are no gross landmines ahead in this post.