Two things that happened by chance collided this week, causing me to burst into tears in front of strangers.
I started reading a book about a formerly successful business owner who became homeless. “Breakfast at Sally’s” was published in 2009. Its popularity led to changes in several cities regarding supports for the poor. Author Richard LeMieux had a thriving business, a happy marriage, a palatial home and other spoils enjoyed by wealthy people. The marketplace shifted and he tried to keep his business afloat much like Ted Beneke in “Breaking Bad.” He was too frightened to face reality and scared to tell his family. His children worked for him. So, when his company finally collapsed, it took everybody down with it.
Around the midway point of the book, I took a tour of the Port Stanley food bank. The Port Stanley & Area Community Cupboard is open twice a month. Housed in the basement of the Anglican Church, it’s run by the most dedicated volunteers. They’re optimistic and enthusiastic. Why shouldn’t they be? They see the best of human nature.
Happy to Help
Just before I arrived, someone had dropped off dozens of flats of Mandarin oranges. Earlier, another donor gave them almost 100 cartons of fresh eggs. My tour guide, Ian, the Executive Director, told me it hasn’t been long since they started offering fresh food. It was never an option before. Storage and spoilage were big issues. On that day they had apples and onions and other fresh produce along with the tins and boxes and jars.
A food bank’s offerings go beyond actual food. They give out toilet paper, sanitary products, toothbrushes and toothpaste, even a cake mix if someone’s having a birthday. Ian said they aim to give everyone seven days worth of food and some cash for milk and bread. They do stock bread by shopping the discount aisles and freezing it. These people know how to stretch a dollar.
Tears Are Not Enough
I told Ian about the book I was reading. Then we talked about a homeless man in London I’ve seen many times. One day, I asked for his story, He had fallen from a platform onto a concrete floor while working. His job paid cash and he had no medical coverage so he has healed up somewhat but is in pain. What he needs is surgery but he doesn’t have an OHIP card. He has slipped through the cracks and lives on the street. All he ever wants is chocolate milk. When I told Ian that, I burst into tears. This London man isn’t even thinking about a safe home or how to be free of pain. Just a little carton containing his favourite treat.
My guide said he’s a crier too. He has lots of opportunities to tear up but he’s always on the move. The day before I visited, thirty families came to access the food bank. Thirty. In our little village, that’s a shocking number. But it’s outpaced by the incredible generosity of residents, business owners, and school kids. Port Stanlians can’t stand to think of anyone going hungry.
The Comeback
Many people act as if homeless or needy people are from another species. We tend to hear about addicts and petty criminals and not so much about the families living in their cars. Or the ones having to choose between keeping the electricity on or buying food.
The author of Breakfast at Sally’s never imagined being homeless. Why should he when he took $40,000 vacations and had all the comforts of life. His wife left and divorced him. His children eventually turned their backs on him, his friends couldn’t bear to be around him. Ultimately, it was him and his dog in a van with no insurance, trying to make it through each day.
A study just released by U of T finds half of all families accessing food banks are working. According to this article, the fastest growing demographic going to the Daily Bread Food Bank in Toronto is 18-44. Sixty percent of them have a college or university education. Half are working full time. Food banks are no longer the outlier in today’s world. Getting a good education and being employed is no longer enough. In one exchange in Richard LeMieux’s book, a man yells at him. “Get a job!” It’s a familiar sentiment toward homeless people. It also shows deep ignorance in the person yelling it.
I asked Ian for the best comeback to someone who dismisses homelessness and food insecurity among our fellow Canadians. He replied, “That’s easy. Ask them if they’d like to trade places? That usually shuts them up.”
I’ve always wondered about our food bank and how to contribute to it. Thanks for the nudge!
I did too, Rachael. When they wrote on Facebook that they’d give a tour, I bought some soup and TP and took them up on it. 🙂
Every Canadian and politician needs to read this. Please make it happen. To start..please send it to London council.
Understanding and empathy is needed instead of fear and from some disgust.
Working families, university and college degrees…omg. We have failed. What can we do to change this and make homelessness and food banks a thing of the past? I am in if anyone has suggestions. Tell me how to help.
Lisa, thank you for this inciteful, honest and heartbreaking blog.
Thanks, Nancy. You’re free to share it if you wish. I think (and I’m no expert) that for the moment, we get people fed. It’s unbelievable to me that it isn’t priority number one to feed and house people. There are so many complex issues that can lead to homelessness and too many people in their warm homes acting as if everyone has the same circumstances and opportunities. How is someone living on the street supposed to get a job when they don’t have a place to shower or clean clothes? I could go on… addiction is a health issue, not a failure of character. Etc.
I shared and donated. It would be an important and needed opinion piece for the Toronto Star, if you want to do that. Sorry not trying to be pushy. I was unaware of these heartbreaking facts and I think Canadians need to be aware.
Can we help to get the man surgery?
I don’t know, to be honest. I sometimes see him outside the Byron Metro but he’s not always there. I asked him about getting medical help and he just sort of waved his hand, like, nah. He just really wants chocolate milk.
Thank you for posting this. As always, I never knew how badly I needed this message, until I read it.
<3
We are retired. Many costs are going up. But we have our home. We are fortunate. We cut back on things. Almost every time I go to our local Zehrs we donate something to the food bank. Sometimes it is a few things and sometimes only one, but we donate because we could be using it one day, you never know. Imagine is everyone donated one item…
I like the comeback, would you like to change places.
Thank you for this post.
Roberta, you have nailed it on the head. It’s about gratitude and knowing that falling on hard times isn’t about character. It’s about circumstances. Thank goodness for people like you.
I take fitness class with a very active Port Food Cupboard volunteer, and sometimes I take our donations to her at the arena. That place is run by outstanding humans! I gasped at thirty families. For a village this size, that number is way too high. It is heartening to see how many contributions they take in. I appreciate what you said about homeless people. Fellow humans! That’s all it should take people to be compassionate – recognize that these are human beings! Thanks for being your wonderful self, Lisa!
Patricia, I’m amazed by how many people easily dismiss others in need. (No one I know, though!) I suppose it’s fear of accepting that it could happen to them. But this village is full of such amazing people. I love the generosity of folks like you and Lee! Thanks for the comment.
Oh Lisa, thank you for spreading awareness on this topic, it’s something that bothers me to the core. I make food donations at the grocery store, and when I get good deals through points and coupons, I save the items until I can fill a box and we drop that off at one of our local food banks. We are fortunate (and grateful) today, but none of us knows if it could one day be us needing that help. Homelessness is often on my mind. When I see things that are marked down in price at stores, I wonder why they don’t just take those items to a shelter. When it’s cold outside, I worry about someone not having a warm place to sleep. Sometimes I feel guilty when I get into my warm bed at night and wonder why anyone should be neglected of that comfort in this country of ours. I will be thinking of that man in London whenever I see chocolate milk. I hope people in the area will see to it that he gets his treat on a regular basis.
Claire, you have such a good heart. I share your concerns. We are fortunate.
I donate to Feed the Need – Durham. A few times per year, you’ll hear an announcement on the radio that a generous person or company will double donations dollar for dollar. I try to donate then so the impact will be doubled and when this happens because I have heard because it means the organization can shop at wholesale prices to stretch the dollars even further. Cheers Pam
That’s a great idea! Give when it gives the most. Thanks, Pam.