It doesn’t matter what I’m sent, I will never forward it to 10 friends. Ever. Ever, ever ever.
There can be a warning written on the end from Oprah’s personal psychic that my house will fall under an evil spell and my friends will disown me and I’ll end up living in a paper bag on the street if I don’t forward it and I will still hit “delete”.
I can read a petition containing a long list of names of people known and unknown to me coupled with a plea to not break the chain and I will break the chain without a second thought. The text can say that every time a person receives the email and doesn’t forward it a bag of puppies is thrown to a pack of wolves and I will still hit delete. It can be about breast cancer or animal abuse or women’s rights or war or famine or any number of worthy causes and I will still delete it and go on with my day. Because the stated cause doesn’t override the fact that it’s bullshit, plain and simple. No matter how many times an email is forwarded, an angel will not get its wings and money will not be donated to save the whales. The emotional tug isn’t stronger than the reality of the futility of the process, for me.
So now you know. And you know that if you’ve ever sent me one of these emails and wondered what happened, I deleted it, without a doubt. Because, baby, it’s how I roll.