This Week in Entertainment

How amusing.  Sharon Osbourne must have burned all pre-surgery pictures of herself.

How else could she possibly find the stones to viciously rant about the appearance of Britain’s Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle? On a radio show this week, Osbourne – who has had virtually every part of her body shaped, lifted or enhanced – claimed Boyle had been hit with an ugly stick and needs a full body shave.  She later apologized.  This, from a woman whose only talent is the ability to control a mildly gifted has-been rock star.

The Free Press here in London gave Cirque du Soleil’s Alegria five stars out of five and I’m wondering if the reviewer and I saw the same show.  Cirque performances are usually spellbinding and the acrobatics in Alegria are jaw dropping.  But they are very brief and only occur roughly every twenty minutes while the rest of the program is filled with Moulin Rouge-styled performers acting out confusing, dull and pointless skits.  A murmer of “what the hell was that?” filled the JLC following the long vignettes. Two of them were aimed directly at children and as juvenile as reading a Dick and Jane story.  Another must have lasted twenty minutes, featuring a lone performer in a puzzling story about a train, the moon and his own arm pretending to be someone else’s arm.  It was excruciating.  People looked at their watches and squirmed in their seats.  I could not, in good conscience, recommend spending upwards of $50 bucks on such glamourously staged drivel. 

Former reality TV star Jon Gosselin says he’s now too famous to get a real job so he’s trolling for media opportunities.  I beg to differ. Jon, with your special skills I’ll bet any drive-thru in America would be happy to have you handing bags of burgers out the window.  You’d be a draw as a Walmart greeter.  And just imagine the joy on diners’ faces when Jon Gosselin, busboy, comes by to clear their table.