Month: June 2016

My Happy Place

From fornicating Mayors to mass shootings to random attacks on strangers, I’ve had quite enough of the news for a week. This week, my smart, beautiful, amazing step-daughter is visiting and I’m giving myself a break from everything in my usual routine.

A Clutch-and-Rotate Classic Wins

You’re familiar with the clutch-and-rotate? It’s the last song of the high school dance, and some dweeb asks you, or you ask some dweeb, and you clutch and rotate through the song. More often than not, when I was in high school, that song was Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. 

Sports Snorts

Reporting on sports is my least favourite part of my job as a newscaster. This is not new. I don’t generally watch sports, with limited exceptions. And I’ve never been such a fan that my happiness – even in the short term – depends on a bunch of people I don’t know scoring more points …

Sports SnortsRead More »

Not Only in Brockville

Maybe you heard about the Brockville man whom police are looking for after he hurled belongings of his son and his girlfriend into a campfire. One of those things was a propane tank and it caused quite a little burst of flames. The 56-year-old took off before officers could get there.

Municipal Affair

The summer before the 2014 municipal election, Free-FM was one of the hosts of Rock the Park, the big multi-day music festival at London’s Harris Park. It’s an all-hands-on-deck event, from early morning until late at night. It was dark and it was raining as I returned to the VIP gazebo after visiting a porta-potty …

Municipal AffairRead More »

Supplementary Expenses

When someone notices my sixteen-pounds-and-counting weight loss, they always want to know how I’m doing it. After they find out, they often have a suggestion of something I should take to help the mission along, or replenish a missing mineral/vitamin/acid, which they can apparently tell I need despite no medical training or test results. 

Orlando

As news broke early Sunday that there was a mass shooting at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida, the iPhone of the President of the National Rifle Association undoubtedly went off. His Media Relations Officer would be briefing him on the situation and designing the narrative they would put out. 

The World’s Ugliest Colour

They call it Opaque Couche, with an accent on the e that I can’t make with this American keyboard. It’s in the Pantone paint family, and it’s a mix of camo green, puppy poop and the shade of sky just before a tornado forms. You don’t want it on your walls. 

There Must Be Some Misunderstanding

A colleague died suddenly at work a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t know him well, but he was a friendly, cheery guy who always made a point of saying good morning. People who worked closely with him were devastated and he was clearly well liked around the building. 

The Rug from HELL

I should have known when I walked into the home and it smelled of stale smoke. I should have guessed that the rug I was buying from a Kijiji ad would smell that way too. But I had no idea that it would become the thing that stunk up the joint, and waste fifty perfectly …

The Rug from HELLRead More »

Undercover Angel

There’s a TV show we watch regularly that ends with nearly everybody on screen, and in our living room, with tears in their eyes. And the other night, I figured out why I like it so much. It’s because it shows the way I think wealthy people should behave. Instead of accumulating more stuff than …

Undercover AngelRead More »

Sorry Dads, Your School Stories Lose

China is well known for a lot of things: lead-painted toys, tasty food, over-population and for marginalizing groups who don’t go along with the majority. Many Chinese live in extreme poverty and a story came out late last week about a dozen children in the Zhaojue county, and their dangerous trek to school.