Stop Thinking, Just Do the Thing

We were misled into thinking that endless pondering about every decision or an idea would lead to a positive outcome. I call bullshit.

Richard Branson’s saying, “screw it, just do it” works for Richard Branson because a financial loss won’t break his business. Sometimes we do need to proceed with a little caution and forethought. But there are times when we ought to simply plow ahead.

For example, acting on a kind impulse when someone is grieving. Saying, “let me know if you need anything” only puts another burden on top of the grief. Just do the thing. Make the casserole, send the card, make the phone call. There’s an endless world of “what ifs” out there that our minds want to take us through. We can choose not to go! It’s just the brain’s way of protecting us from threats even when they don’t exist. We don’t need to follow our thoughts when it comes to being kind.

Have the Conversation

Last week, I walked past a van that had a sticker on the back. It read, “In Memory of Michael” and the dates of his birth and death. A woman around my age was sitting in the van preparing to leave but I caught her eye. She put her window down and we had a conversation about Michael.

I started by saying, “the way you keep someone you love alive is to talk about them. Who was Michael?”

She told me all about him. He was her brother and he had died at 53 from complications of early onset Parkinson’s. He was funny and smart and she misses him terribly. Then she told me she was widowed at 26 when her husband died at 28. It taught her to appreciate each day and she always has.

This woman doesn’t hesitate to show support or affection. She thanked me for asking about her brother. We had a lovely moment.

People Who Do the Things

I remember coming home from the hospital after having septic shock and a colleague brought me a turkey dinner. She knocked on the door and said, “I don’t want to intrude, but I have something for you.” She proceeded to hand us an entire turkey, sliced, and containers of all the trimmings. They were still warm.

I can’t tell you how much it meant. I didn’t have to worry about cooking for several days. It was such a relief since I was still wearing a PICC line and taking liquid antibiotics around the clock. Fatigue would hit like a slap and I’d need to lie down. I’ll never forget her kindness.

Seize Opportunities in the Moment

In my experience, those who have gone through hard times are the most likely to just do the thing. I wish we didn’t have to experience a major loss or trauma to develop that level of empathy. When a neighbour’s mother was hospitalized, Derek cut his lawn without being asked and shoveled out his driveway several times. It’s a small thing but it means a lot to the person you do it for.

I can think of a few times when I’ve held back. Now I wonder why? And occasions when I didn’t do the thing that would have made someone’s day, or been a nice moment. The truth is, it’s good for us, too. We get a little hit of “I’m a good person” and that makes the rest of our day better, too.

Have I ever made a fool of myself and felt awkward afterwards? Sure! Do I care? Not really. It’s better to have taken what’s perceived as a risk and let someone know they matter. After all, isn’t mattering all anybody wants from this world?