“The item you were so angry about on social media is over in ten minutes and you realize it’s worthless.” ~Sam Harris
It’s no wonder that philosopher and neuroscientist Sam Harris is so smart. I’ve been a fan of his work for many years. But I’ve just learned that he was raised by an incredible single mother whose name was splashed across our TV screen almost every night. Susan Harris, creator of The Golden Girls and SOAP, among others. She basically discovered Billy Crystal. Her name was on our TV screens almost every night.
When Sam was two-and-a-half years old, his father Berkeley Harris left the family to seek his fortune as an actor. It was 1969 and Susan and Sam were on their own. Berkeley didn’t pay child support more than once or twice. He and Sam developed a long-distance relationship that didn’t amount to much. Susan needed to find a job.
Sam says they were watching TV when his mom said, “I can write a better script than that.” (He doesn’t remember this moment but it’s part of family lore.) She wrote a script for a sitcom and sold it. Then she wrote another one. On and on this went. Just to name a few: The Courtship of Eddie’s Father. The Beverly Hillbillies. The Partridge Family. All in the Family. She wrote the landmark “abortion” episode of Maude that 60-million people watched. And then she became a show creator.
Sam told Neal Brennan on the Blocks podcast that his mom sat him down and gave him a choice. 1. He and his mom could spend more time together and stay where they were. Or, 2, he would be with babysitters more often but eventually, they’d have a big house and a pool. Young Sam chose the pool. Susan created a dozen shows. Besides SOAP and The Golden Girls, there were Empty Nest, It Takes Two, and many more.
Glass Ceiling Shattered
Imagine what it took for an ordinary woman in the 1970s to convince male studio heads that she could write. Susan Harris had bigger balls than many of the men in show business. Needing to take care of her son on her own propelled her past any fear. Sam recalls traveling the globe while holding his mother’s hand. It was the two of them against the world.
I first became acquainted with Sam Harris more than 20 years ago when someone loaned me one of his books. His analysis of the current state of the world is helpful to me. I love his podcast, Making Sense, and even though he’s super smart, he talks like a regular person. He said the best thing he’s done for his mental health is quitting X, formerly Twitter. It did the same for me.
He’s not without controversy. He’s an atheist who meditates. His name came up in the Epstein files, and some right-wingers lost their minds. But it was only there because Epstein wrote that he’d like to meet him. (Sam deflected the emailed request several times and they never met.) Sam is against the way the US started the war with Iran. But he is for preventing jihadists from getting nuclear weapons by any means possible. He’s a Democrat but he’s highly critical of the way Democrats have handled many things, including the current President. I enjoy his insights and his objectivity.
He also leans into empathy for people enshrouded in conspiracy theories and guided by fake news. To paraphrase him, we can never know what kind of online world they’re living in. Some people have affected their social media algorithms to the point that they’re only seeing life via a narrow scope. They don’t understand how much they’ve been manipulated and misled. This is my interpretation: Getting mad at them is a waste of effort. By this point, they can’t help it. They are responsible for creating their environment but they don’t know it’s not the REAL environment. As a wise person once said, “the last one to notice the water is the fish.”
This is why arguing or investing in what happens on social media is a waste of time. There’s not much that pertains to reality. My reality, anyway. Our Gracefully and Frankly Facebook page is an exception. We’ve created a wonderful community and there’s nothing toxic or political about it. It’s a breath of fresh air in an often poisonous space.
Far Too Many Cooks
The arrival of the Canadian social media app Gander is one thing too many for me. If I’m going to use it, something else has to go. I don’t even use TikTok, Snapchat, or Pinterest. I have been more active on LinkedIn just to see whether it matters. Bluesky came on like gangbusters but seems to have stalled in the shadow of Threads. I’ve been visiting these apps much like an assassin. Get in, assess the environment, take my shot, and get out.
Sam Harris’s point that the thing on socials that spikes your blood pressure will be over soon, rings true. Something else will take its place and so on and so on. I’m getting good at walking away. Even when I make a little rant video, as soon as I’m finished, it’s over. These things don’t stick to me. I want to live a real life. Someone recently asked me why I don’t post more pictures of me and Derek. I’d rather spend time with him than put him out for public consumption.
Speaking of rants, I’ve wanted to do videos like this for a long time. Instead of thinking about it too hard for too long, now, I just do it when the mood strikes.
This one was recorded prior to Ontario Premier Doug Ford pushing through his Freedom of Information (FOI) protections for himself and his MPPs. I made it in case anyone wasn’t sure what it was about.