Open Mouthers

It’s well known among my friends and ex-colleagues that I don’t like yawning in my presence. I’ve blogged about this before – some of the new staff at 680 News were told yawning was “banned” around me!  That’s ridiculous.  I only asked that people try to refrain!  And as the new kid at my current radio station, I haven’t peeped a word about it and try valiantly to avert my eyes at the first tell-tale signs of a coming yawn.

It’s because I’m so susceptible to the chain reaction of a yawn, you see.  Not only do I follow suit, but it feels as if most of the energy drains from  my body as well.  That’s something one can’t afford to have happen while trying to stay energized for a radio show.  It’s my problem but people can help me with it if they know about it.  That’s been my philosophy, anyway.

And I simply think it’s ruder than rude when I’m standing, say, in line at Tim Horton’s to order my morning coffee and some guy in line ahead of me turns my way and opens his mouth wide enough to swallow my head whole, while making groaning noises normally associated with rutting sealions and baring his vibrating uvula in my direction.  I wasn’t that intimate with my first husband let alone some stranger in a coffee shop! I loathe that experience and I can’t help but file that particular person under “Those I Do Not Wish To Meet”, along with smokers who crowd around the entrance doors and sidewalk spitters.  But I digress.

Finally, I have a kindred spirit on the judge’s bench in Joilet, Illinois.  When the cousin of a 33 year old convicted drug offender yawned loudly in this judge’s courtroom to disrupt the proceedings,in the judge’s opinion, the judge gave him six months in jail. Go judge!  Now, there is a provision that if the dude apologizes, all will be forgiven.  I disagree.  I think he should get the electric chair, apology or not, but 7 or 8 years of hard labour should precede the execution.  Spontaneous, involuntary yawning can be forgiven but this man’s act was deliberate!  *shudder*