Hauntings of Halloweens Past

Some people can remember every costume they wore for every Halloween. I’m not one of those people. 

I remember my brother dressing up as a bum one year. I’m sure there are lots of photos around of me in Halloween get-ups but at this moment I can only recall two costumes of my youth. One wasn’t even for Halloween. My Mom made me an amazing candy-cane costume to wear in the Grimsby Santa Claus Parade. It was a real eye-catcher constructed of a tough foam body and headpiece that mimicked the curve of a candy-cane, with wide red ribbon sewn around it at regular intervals. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was one of the parade’s big hits. Mom broke her sewing machine making that costume but in my little eyes it was totally worth it.

My other memorable costume was for a Halloween party at Keystone Kelly’s, the hip hangout for me and my friends when we first came of drinking age. I don’t know why I put off getting my costume until the last minute but by the time I secured an outfit all that was left – and I’m not kidding – was a bunch of celery. I found this photo online and I’m sad to say that this celery costume is infinitely more attractive than the one I wore!

guy wearing a celery costume with leaves on his shoulders and head, and a lot of extra bulk, in light green

It was as if I went to the store and asked for the ugliest and roundest costume in stock. It was green and bulbed out below the hips like an oversized hoop skirt. I could have been anywhere up to 350 lbs in that thing, it was that huge. It wasn’t the impression that a young, single female wanted to make. While my friends were sexy cats and slinky hookers I was one of the least interesting vegetables in the garden. I sulked that night. Sulking celery. Sulking LONELY celery!