Ozzy Osbourne is a lot of things but a health advice columnist probably isn’t one that immediately leaps to mind. Rolling Stone Magazine has hired him to do just that and I have a couple of samples of the wizened old rocker’s wisdom.
Sheer survival is probably enough to make Ozzy a credible health advisor. He’s put loads of drugs into his system, partied like a rock star and lived to tell about it. He may not be the picture of health but he’s still drawing breath which is a bit miraculous, all things considered. Asked by a reader for advice on talking to his kids about drugs Ozzy replies, “The only time I ever talked to my kids about drugs was to ask, Can you give me some?” I suppose he scores points for honesty.
Another reader complains that his girlfriend is too tired for sex and Ozzy actually offers something sensible. “As I’ve always said to Sharon, there are 24 hours in a day so it shouldn’t be hard to make sure you spend at least one of them together. Go on a date. Have dinner together. Or put on a wig and a false beard, check into a B and B and….”
I’ll leave the rest to your imagination and the pages of Rolling Stone.