Harold Camping, a broadcaster and “religious figure” in the US, says Saturday will be the day of rapture, when Jesus comes back to claim all good people for heaven. Five months after that the world will end, says Camping, based on calculations from writings in the Bible.
Camping – which I really don’t like writing over and over because I loathe the activity of camping – predicted the end of days back in 1994, braced himself and then had to figure out why nothing happened. Turns out it was a miscalculation on his part and now he thinks he has it right: Saturday. All that will be left for heathens like me are little piles of clothing where good and pure people used to stand. At least one man in Florida has quit his $80,000.00 a year job and sold his car because he believes Camping’ s prediction. Do you know how hard it is to convince people to help you move a couch? How does an 89-year old with a track record of being wrong, get people to believe him so deeply? There’s a Youtube channel devoted to the subject and lots of chatter among religious types about the possibility that you shouldn’t buy any green bananas today.
Camping’s company, Family Radio, has rented billboards in his California town, warning of the coming judgment in an attempt to get people to repent so they don’t get left behind. A local pastor has declared Camping to be a false prophet that the Bible warns about. He also says the word “rapture” doesn’t appear anywhere in the big, holy book.
Someone on Facebook has taken their own stand and I have joined them. They created a group called Post Rapture Looting! We all agree that if Jesus comes back tomorrow and takes away all of the good people, we will start breaking into abandoned stores and relieving them of their goods. I’m starting on Richmond Street with Fisher and Company and working my way north until I get all the way to Masonville. We’ll need lots of tote bags, comfortable shoes and a keen eye for quality.
However, my suspicion is that even if the rapture does occur, so few people will be taken we probably won’t even notice. There will be the odd pile of clothes here or there but not likely as many as Mr. Camping seems to think. That will be very disappointing because it will cut way down on the opportunities for looting.
4 thoughts on “The End of the World as we Know It!”
Well done, Ms Brandt!
“Oh…it’s the MEEK!”
“Isn’t that nice? ‘Cause they have a hell of a time…”
If the pending rapture is based on merit, then its going to be awfully lonely here on earth without our four legged canine companions. For as you know, dog spelled backwards is “GOD” and he’s been keeping an eye on you!
Looting? OMG! You must be Athiests!!
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