Alright. It’s been a month and my resolve appears to be holding up. Somehow my depleted willpower of the past couple of years has topped back up and I think I know how it happened. And I feel confident in talking about it…this time.
What turned the tide was when I recently saw myself on video. Oh, I had seen quite a few photos of myself that didn’t make me very happy. More than a year ago I asked Derek to take a photo of me looking particularly like a stuffed sausage so I could view it whenever I wanted to reach for goodies but I never did print it off. And I got rid of those clothes and simply bought bigger ones. Problem solved! I would get on the healthy-eating-no-junk bandwagon for a day or two and then buy a bag of Nibs and eat the whole thing. I had no stick-to-it-iveness.
Then the guys from RadioViz came to London and shot footage of me talking about broadcasting and seeing that was enough to shut my pie hole. My head looked as big as a basketball and my neck appeared to have more folds than the face of a Sharpei. I knew everything below it wasn’t faring much better. It took a couple of weeks to sink in and then I dropped all excuses and started my very own diet. Another factor is the looming milestone birthday that’s about a year away. It’s a biggie and I said to myself, self, do you want to feel pudgy and out of control when you get there? The answer was a resounding no.
I’m following most of the sensible elements from Weight Watchers but I don’t eat any carbs after noon, except twice a week; I allow myself a bowl of air-popped, plain popcorn on one weeknight of my choice and on Sunday evening I eat whatever I feel like having. One Sunday we went to East Side Mario’s and I had spaghetti, but I boxed at least half of it and brought it home for Derek to have for lunch the next day. Every workday I enjoy a small square of dark chocolate after my favourite breakfast – cheese and an All-bran bar – and if I have to have a snack, it’s 0% fat yogurt with fat-free cereal mixed in. I’ve also stopped eating when I get home from work, unless it’s fruit. I used to have a full lunch and then nap. Gee, and I wondered why I woke up feeling like a slug. I consume a lot of fruits and veggies – but I always have – and supper is a salad with the protein du jour. One day it might be pan-seared scallops, another it’s chicken, or maybe a barbecued steak. I don’t feel deprived. In fact, I feel strong and good. There’s a tiny part of me that fears openly declaring this success will make it cease to exist, and I hope that will keep me scared enough to stay on track. It’s one day at a time, and the weight didn’t come on in one day so I know it won’t fall off that way, either.
It’s been one month and I’ve lost 10 pounds! Maybe more. My scale isn’t completely reliable. Actually, I have two scales. One weighs me the same no matter what. The other says I’m even lighter than I think I am. It’s my kind-and-caring scale. I appreciate its compliment but I’m warying of believing it. However, judging by the long-neglected clothes I’m now able to wear, I’m on my way. I figure I’ve got about 10 more pounds to go. And if it takes all winter, that’s fine. I’m not looking past where I am today. I’m just trying to enjoy the little victories.
I knew something would eventually take me over the hump of wanting to stuff myself to wanting to improve myself. I feel better, happier and more energetic. I need to step up my exercise routine but it’s all a work in progress. Fortunately I love salads and baby carrots I really don’t mind the fluffy tail I’ve started to grow.