My stupid tooth came out of my stupid head on Saturday night. It had been feeling loose and temperamental for a few days so I wasn’t surprised but I wasn’t exactly delighted, either.
I wouldn’t care so much if it wasn’t a smile tooth. My big grin now reveals a dark hole into which all matter is absorbed. Your eyes are drawn to the cavernous space and you wonder whether it’s an optical illusion, a black tooth or if I’ve been playing with theatre makeup again. No, it’s a gap that isn’t Lauren Hutton sexy.
Don’t look at it too long or it might steal your soul.
This tooth has always been a problem child. It broke several weeks ago and popped out in one convenient piece that my dentist cemented back in. It was a temporary fix until my new employment benefits kicked in, which they did just days ago. (The insurance company won’t pay for this repair as it turns out, but that’s another story.) So now I’m shopping for a tooth implant. I’m told it’s a six-month cycle to prepare the area and then finally install the implant at a cost of thousands of dollars. Worth every penny, if you ask me right now. I doubt Dr. Edwards can cement the fallen tooth again but if he can, I will have him do so. If he can’t, I guess I’ll get used to delivering a closed-mouth smile for the forseeable future. Or perhaps I’ll stick a kernel of corn in there. Derek thinks I should take up the banjo. He also asked if he could get me some rope to floss with. Spice the cat had most of his teeth removed last year so I’m turning to him for less mocking and more sympathy and understanding. Did you know that the Tooth Fairy refuses to take adult teeth? Well, that’s what Derek tells me. The Tooth Fairy is ageist, who knew.