Hearing is Believing and How You Can Help

My alarm didn’t wake me one recent morning. I had purchased a wrist alarm that vibrated with the hope of not waking Derek. It worked on me for a few days but one day I didn’t even notice it go off. Luckily, it did wake Derek or I might have missed my early obligation. Derek said my wrist was next to my head so it’s not like I could have placed it better.

It was unsettling. My hearing loss is such that without my hearing aids in, I can’t hear my phone alarm. I thought the vibrating strap was the answer.

Horton Hardly Hears a Who

Like many disabilities, hearing loss is invisible. This isn’t an “oh poor me” post by a long shot. I’d rather have hearing loss than a thousand other things that could be wrong. But it does affect my life and the lives of those around me in many ways.

When you have good hearing you can take a lot for granted. You’ll hear overhead announcements in crowded rooms. (The show starts in five minutes!) Conversations are easier to understand, even when your friend is a low talker. My audiologist says, and it’s true, that hearing loss is one of the few things other people get angry about. It’s because it requires them to change their behavior. I get it.

A Hearing Impairment Refresher

Here are some things you might not have thought of about someone with hearing loss.

1. In a crowded room, and if (God forbid!) there’s also music, most sounds will be at the same level for us. Unlike you who hears the person closest to you louder than someone father away, I hear everything together. (There are hearing aid settings that help somewhat, but not enough.)
2. The microphones on hearing aids are at the back of the ear. A discussion behind me can be louder than the movie in front of me. (Why the hell are you talking during a movie anyway? Including the previews.)
3. If someone asks you nicely to speak up, they mean forever, not just the next sentence. Typically, people are happy to increase their volume but it only lasts a few minutes. They fall right back into their comfort zone. It’s only human, I guess. But our hearing ability hasn’t changed. We still need your louder voice.
4. If there’s a hand at your mouth when you speak, part of my ability to understand you is gone. We read lips without even realizing it. It helps fill in the gaps when we’re not sure what we’ve heard.
5. If someone seems to be ignoring you or they’re unusually shy, maybe they can’t hear well. It can have a big impact on their self-confidence.
6. If you’re a partner of someone who’s hearing impaired, give them a helping ear. Hearing aids only “aid”, they don’t cure. If your partner seems lost, ask them whether they’ve missed something. Maybe develop a secret word that’s code for, “I didn’t hear that.”
7. If someone is having trouble hearing you, start your chat by getting their attention. If they don’t catch the first word of a sentence, it’s difficult to follow. So try, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” or “I need to tell you something” or whatever works for you. Then they’ll be primed to switch their attention to what you have to say. We have to focus on what we’re listening to and sometimes it takes a beat or two to change focus.
8. Speaking for myself, I hate having to ask someone to repeat what they’ve said. I know it’s annoying for them and it pains me to do it. But someone else adjusting their volume is a lot easier than not being able to hear them. So, there’s that.
9. If I’m playing audio, it’s taking all my concentration. Talking to me at the same time is not going to get through. Nor will yelling from another room!
10. Those gizmos that put TV audio through hearing aids are great until someone in the room wants to talk. Then there are buttons to be pushed and adjustments to be made. You can either hear one or the other. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I prefer closed captions, thank you.

I have been following some social media accounts that teach sign language but I don’t think I’m really learning it. I would like to take a full course because, frankly, I may need it some day. It would be good to know it before that time comes. I’m looking into it.

My current hearing aids are coming to the end of their life. Talk about annoying! And expensive. But thank goodness they exist because without them, I wouldn’t be able to do the work I love so much. I do feel bad for my husband who gets jarred out of sleep with my new, super-loud alarm. But he takes it so well. he’s patient, and an early riser like me by design. He can also still hear a sparrow fart at 100 paces.