Thanks to the many emails I received about the unidentified plant, I know now that it is (or shall we say, was) an amaryllis.
They’re gorgeous flowers. When they’re properly looked after and allowed to go dormant, their leaves yellow and fall off in early fall and they bloom by Christmas. Then you’re supposed to remove and clean the bulb and store it in the dark (even a fridge crisper) for 6 weeks or so. That’s how the blooming cycle can continue.
This poor plant is very confused. It has never been looked after that way. When I inherited responsibility for its care it was simply a weird looking leafy thing. I’m afraid I don’t have enough of a green thumb or patience to spend the next year or so trying to retrain it. If I store it in the fridge it might end up chopped into a salad or tossed out when I forget what it is! So I’m going to take one woman’s advice…and let it go to that great garden in the sky.
Healthy, new Amaryllis plants are sold over the holidays in full bloom for 10 or 12 bucks. I overwatered the last one I had and its roots rotted. That was some kind of gross! So farewell my little flower. Take your silly leaves and your inability to produce a bud and experience a London winter! Really, it’s for the best.