Now that I can look back on my recent health ordeal with a measure of perspective, I’m left with some personal fallout.
If you had asked me to guess who would be there to support me in such a circumstance, along with my husband, my immediate family and my very closest chick-friends, I would have named a few people who have been nowhere to be found. On the other hand, I would not have expected to get the selfless and ongoing support that I’ve received from others. Fortunately, the universe conspired to make it a wash!
I’ve analyzed this, and setting aside for a moment that some people are simply thoughtless boors, I have considered my role in their absences. I can understand that when one is in the throes of recovering from a serious illness, health is all that one can talk about. Whether you were able to get out of bed, take in solid food or see your doctor that day becomes your whole world. Nothing else matters, not a job, not a responsibility, not the weather. Nothing. So it’s possible that I have been rather boring and self-centred to communicate with! When someone asked me how I was, I told them. If they asked what happened to me, I told them that too. It’s not as if we were passing in a hallway and someone said, Hi how are you and I held them hostage with my tale of woe. Still, I can understand that there are people who don’t want to think about illness and in the cases of the ones who vanished, they are likely to apply everything they hear to themselves. Who would want to put themselves through that? Only a very good friend.
This is all quite okay. I’ve gained and lost friends through the years and sometimes friendships simply aren’t meant to last forever. But I’m also at a point in my life where I’m not going to invest in a relationship that is one-sided. If you ran away when I needed you most, just keep running. I’m blessed to have good people who ran toward me when I was at my worst and helped prop me up to get through it. There will be no regrets but also, no second chances. Life is, indeed, too short for that.