Name Recognition Really is Everything

By now you’ve heard that Charlie Sheen bombed in his first Torpedo of Truth show in Detroit.

It was apparently so bad that ticket-holders for his next stop in Chicago were desperately trying to unload their tickets. Variety reviewed the show and called it a Nerf Ball of Truth! I’m not sure what people expected. He’s no writer and he has never done live theatre or stand-up. My theory is that he assumed people would be so excited to see him in person that they’d put up with whatever lame bullshit he decided to spew. Not the case. Still, people want to say that they were there and reporters will cover each stop as an event. Because it’s Charlie Sheen.

He’s also advertising the offer to join him at after-show parties … for $10,000 to $20,000 dollars a ticket. The closer you want to get to Charlie, the more you pay.

Meanwhile Jersey Shore’s diminutive beer-swilling Snooki garnered a fee of $32,ooo to appear at Rutgers University’s commencement ceremony. That’s two-thousand bucks more than was given to Toni Morrison, the Nobel and Pulitzer Prize-winning writer who delivered the graduation address to students.

Why does this happen? How can it be? Because all that matters is the buzz. No one will tweet about the respectable, intelligent novelist’s insightful speech but they’ll burn up the airwaves quoting inspid comments by the little tart. It’s only important that people know you, not what you’re known for. As evidence I present Paris Hilton, Rachel Uchitel, Monica Lewinsky. They’re the food upon which the lowest form of communicators feed and somehow, that makes them valuable.