Gripping Hose

Pantyhose. Am I right? PANTYHOSE! 

I only wear pantyhose in that (usually) brief period between winter tights and bare legs, and when an occasion calls for extra modesty. After all of these years, I still haven’t found a brand that fits me properly. Or have I? Most brands don’t put a tag or even a logo in them and I forget which are the good ones when I go shopping for more.

Years ago, while shopping at The Gap, a salesman stood back and analyzed my body. “Hmmmmm” he said, “straight up and down”. Then he presented me with the most comfortable, best-fitting jeans I’ve ever owned. Yes, I’m what’s known as short-waisted. Or if you’re unkind, no-waisted. I believe I was meant to be taller!

So, pantyhose presents a problem. It cuts me in the middle and on days when I’m super lucky, it rolls down as I walk. I’ve tried buying the biggest size available which leaves me with miles of extra leg-hose. I also avoid control top hose. It’s not that my top doesn’t need controlling, but control top is even tighter than the regular version. Recently, I looked online for ways to ease this irritant and found many women with the same issue.

Some women are pulling up their hose to the bottom of the bra, like a poor-woman’s Spanx. I tried it and it was surprisingly comfortable. The band stayed where I put it and it gave my tummy a gentle hug.

Another method is to wear a second pair of underwear over the panty-hose. This strikes me as one step away from a diaper but if it works, go for it.

Then I happened upon a video of a woman at a site called seamsensational who makes cuts around the tight band. She suggests two short cuts in the front and two at the back, a few inches apart. The band will still grip you but it won’t squish your innards or roll down to your thighs. And you know what? It works! I can sit and walk and eat and breathe while encased in the demon hose. I never would have attempted to cut it without guidance because I assumed it would just shred them down to the knees, but that hasn’t been the case. So thank you video lady! My innards thank you, too.