Anatomy of a Keychain

The last full weekend of summer, huh? It was beautiful! And despite what the calendar says, the forecast says there’s a lot more summer still to come. 

It happened again on the weekend as I set out for the grocery store: the mocking of my keychain. It won’t fit in a pocket, but it doesn’t need to. It probably can’t get lost, either. Derek picks it up like it’s some sort of poisonous creature that might lash out with its tongue at any moment.

My keychain splayed out with captions explaining each item. Car keys, house keys, garage and shed keys, a 1290 fob, a small tape measure I won with Mike Holmes at the Home Show, a small flashlight, a 45 centre, a token to use instead of a quarter in a grocery cart, a small Eiffel Tower my brother gave me, a Toronto Maple Leaf thing that says Jack (it was my Dad's) and Joe Elliot from Def Leppard in a fob I got from donating to a movie he starred in.

This pales in comparison to what my friend Barb Schnier used to carry when we worked at MIX/CFRB. (Do you have photographic evidence, Barb?) But it looks like an alien life form next to Derek’s clean little key-and-fob combination. However, everything on this chain is important to me. And besides, I carry a purse. Well, a tote bag, actually. So I have room for it. And I know a really good chiropractor.


2 thoughts on “Anatomy of a Keychain”

  1. Derek Botten

    Tell me again where you want me to mount the block and tackle to lift this onto the key rack?
    – The Husband

  2. Derek, I might be able to hook you up with a small forklift. And a couple of re-enforcement support and cross beams might not hurt in case of a serious wind storm. Alternatively, in a pinch, tie a rope to it and you have an emergency boat anchor.

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