Miss Sugar Confesses: “I’m Anti-Vax!”

Happy Friday, my little weekend dreamers! Thank you for visiting my online treat dispenser. This day finds me wanting to weigh in on a topical and controversial subject: vaccines.

I can’t help but hear the constant prattle about vaccines. Human beans on the TV, on the Alexa thingy, from the radio, arguing as if they’re doctors or scientists! “They’re unproven!” “My body, my choice!” “I had polio, smallpox, the Spanish flu and rabies and I’m FINE!” I may be a cat, forbidden from higher education and unable to hold open a book. But even I know some things are true. Unless you have a degree in virology and your own science laboratory, you don’t know kibble about vaccines.

That goes for anyone on either side of the vaccine debate.

And that’s why, my little bug chasers, my human beans put their trust in science and scientists. Because it’s smart to admit you don’t know something rather than pretend you’ve “done your research”. Mother recently bought a new car. Did she tear apart the engine due to a lack of trust about how it was assembled? She did not. This is not her area of expertise. You simply have to trust some things in this life or, in my case, 9 lives.

An overhead view of Sugar lying on an orange plastic bag on the light brown rug.
(A plastic bag set on the floor, no matter how briefly, is legally mine. )

My human beans subject me to vaccines as well. I’ve been given needles to guard against rabies, upper respiratory issues, feline herpes and whatever else an indoor-only, socially distanced cat might encounter. But I’m firmly against these injections! I’ve voiced my anti-vax opinion but they overrule me. So, I grudgingly roll up my fur and take my shots. Yes, I’m anti-vax, but not because I don’t believe in them! Because, well, because… just because! What person or feline in their right mind would delight at the thought of being stuck with a pointy piece of metal?

And I think that’s the issue, right there. If the vaccine was given in pill form, would there be such an outcry? Wrap it in cheese and you’d hardly notice it. Dip it in a little liquid from a can of salmon and it would go down like candy. Do these anti-vaxxers ever take an aspirin or vitamin tablet? How do they know exactly what’s in it? Sometimes, you just have to trust other human beans.

Some beans wring their hands over what to do about the anti-vax segment of society. They’re small but vocal, like hungry kittens, but what they do affects the rest of us. Miss Sugar knows what you should not do. You (pro-vax smart person) should not force (anti-vax silly person) to have an injection. That would be cruel and unkind. Nor should you argue with them, belittle them or make them feel not so smart. We kitties and human beans ought to always lead with kindness. With a little ostracization thrown in for good measure.

What do I mean by that?

Purchase tickets to a concert by their favourite singer that they can’t go to because they’re not vaccinated. Ask them to dinner in a restaurant where they can’t get in because they haven’t had their shots Buy them a gym membership for their birthday. Sign them up as a volunteer long-term-care home bingo caller. Point at them to lead a team meeting at a rented indoor venue. Being unwelcome in these situations is entirely their choice! They will eventually tire of sitting in their darkened basement like a mushroom. The vaccines work just as well when they’re taken willingly or warily. A hesitantly rolled up sleeve turns as nicely as one rolled with enthusiastic vigor!

My beans take the vaccine for others as much as for themselves. For young beans and old beans. For sickly beans. For beans they will never meet. To help prevent the development of new variants. Mother took the flu shot because she was concerned about giving the flu to her immune compromised father. The vaccine is the flu shot for people we don’t know.

People say life used to be simpler in the time of polio and measles. Humans rejoiced at the arrival of a vaccine because they knew it would help ward off bad germs. We cats can only watch helplessly as the “superior” species loses its common sense. And those taking cattle de-wormer because they don’t trust big pharma? Merck makes Ivermectin! Pharma doesn’t get much bigger than that. (Hey, I read the Financial Times!)

It’s healthy to be skeptical but not always suspicious. And not trusting anything or anyone doesn’t mean a person is smart. We have to get along. Imagine if I called into question each time my people reached into the treat cupboard and pulled out delicious nuggets for me to enjoy? Why, I’d never get any napping done!

Mother laughs out loud at those who say the government is deliberately spreading COVID-19 through the population. That’s insane, she says. Why would they ever want to reduce their tax base? She personally knows someone who believes COVID isn’t real. Someone else who refused vaccination and the hospital turned them away after their positive COVID test. My humans don’t approve of this but it can certainly happen.

And as for your phone tracking you with a COVID app, are you that fascinating, really? I mean no insult. I’m sure you are incredibly compelling as you shop for groceries and fill your car with gas, you amazing creature, you!

Sometimes, there’s another side to an issue. Other times, there really isn’t. And remember – I’m anti-vax!

So I hope I’ve given you chicken-pate-now-with-real-meat for thought. If you’ll excuse me, Father just slipped into bed for a nap and I must show him my upturned belly for a scritch! Life is beautiful, my friends. Don’t waste it arguing politics when you could be chasing a dangling piece of yarn!

I hope to see you here again next week. Perhaps I’ll indulge in a lighter topic such as my fave catnip varieties. Or, dust bunnies: you say menace, I say toy!

With love to all vaxxers, anti-vaxxers, and every human bean – except those who are mean to animals.

Your friend,

Miss Sugar

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