The Only One We Get

Miss Sugar stretched out on the grey couch with a clipart, red and white santa hat placed on her head

I’ve been truly gobsmacked over the sheer number of comments here and on social media about my alcoholism post. It amazes me that people respond so generously to an honest revelation about something that, not so long ago, brought me feelings of shame. But it’s when we reveal our flaws that we give others permission to do the same. We ought to learn this stuff in school. So, thank you for sharing your experiences and simply for being kind.

Speaking of kindness, I’m currently reading Julia Adam’s new book, Imperfectly Kind. Julie is a powerful media executive at Rogers and knows about leadership. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I don’t know her well but I know her career path. She probably doesn’t remember, but we first met briefly when she was working at Toronto’s long-gone country station. I was there to interview Trisha Yearwood for a magazine that also no longer exists. It was a lifetime ago.

During my decade at Rogers in Toronto when Julie was a sister station’s Program Director, I became acquainted with some of her staff, whom I suspect she’s writing about in her “jerks” passages. (Don’t keep them on staff, don’t hire them!) But that was at least 15 years ago, maybe longer. And we have all grown and learned. I certainly wouldn’t want to be judged forever by one negative encounter with me. So I won’t do it to someone else.

Julie writes without fluff or filler. Imperfectly Kind is all chicken without the feathers. And she knocked me out with her perspective on talents. I’m paraphrasing here. Essentially she asks, why spend so much time trying to improve on talents we don’t have when we could be making the ones we do have even better? This flies in the face of a common practice: ‘I’m weak in this area so I’m going to work on it until I improve.’ What if that doesn’t happen? Instead, Julie reasons, I should leave that area to someone who is already good at it and stay in my lane. Awesome.

I have no plans to lead anyone but myself but I’m enjoying this book. It’s giving me insight into upper management and I’m all in on its message: lead with kindness.

So, that’s what I’ll be reading as we enter the holidays. Many people have suggested that it will be a terrible Christmas because we lost Miss Sugar. But there’s no good time to lose a pet. Or a person, for that matter. We’ll make Christmas the best it can be because it’s the only one we’ll get this year. We made Sugar a huge part of our lives and now we have to work on filling the hole she left.

Her stocking is on the mantle. Tears will flow when we open our gifts from her. Ever the thoughtful cat, her shopping was done long ago. But we will push through because we have to.

Loss is a part of life. And even when it occurs and is painful, there’s still so much to be grateful for. We’re looking forward to Christmas eve at Derek’s brother’s house. My brother’s visit on Christmas Day. And time with good friends over the days that follow.

I’m going to take a little break and return in the new year. I need to reenergize and reimagine this blog. I have an idea for Sugar’s Friday slot that I want to consider carefully. Plus, there’s turkey to eat and naps to take!

I wish you the best holiday, whatever you celebrate. And I’ll see you back here in the new year. Thanks for visiting.


16 thoughts on “The Only One We Get”

  1. Lisa, thank you for all your thoughts and insights this past year. While I don’t comment on them all, I read and enjoy each and every one. A very happy Christmas to you and Derek. Take care and enjoy the down time.

  2. Wishing you, your family and friends a Very Merry Xmas and Happy New Year as you turn the page and begin a new chapter in lifes journey, may it be a good one. Many thanks for all the great posts.

  3. Merry Christmas to you and Derek. You’re right, there is never a good time to lose a loved and cherished member of the family. I know Miss Sugar will be there in spirit with you both.

  4. Merry Christmas to you and Derek. Embrace the peaceful moments and the bittersweet memories; all the wonderful messy stuff that makes up this life. Enjoy your blog break and all the best for 2022!

  5. Wishing you and Derek a lovely Christmas, Lisa. Thank you for sharing *you*. It’s been a tough year, but let the happy memories bring you solace. Blessings for a wonderful new year.

  6. I wish you all the best over the holidays. Sending love and I hope you can find some joy in it all. Merry Christmas ❤️ Xo

  7. I loved this blog – all of it – and I hope it’s okay that I let Julie Adam know you gave her book such a glowing review. I’m going to read it based on your recommendation although I know it’s going to bring on those radio dreams again. I hope that your time off is restful and as happy as you can make it. As joyful as we want it to be, it’s hard – so hard – to be missing a loved one (and that definitely includes Miss Sugar) at a time that is about togetherness. Thinking of you both, and a Happy Anniversary on Thursday and a VERY happy birthday to Derek! xox E

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