Crimes Against Sweaters

We’re going to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this weekend, much to the chagrin of elderly Christmas fans everywhere. 

Retailer Urban Planet is cashing in on this craze that doesn’t show any signs of waning. They have a huge collection of ugly Christmas sweaters and one for Christmaskah – the combo of Christmas and Hannukah – that features a menorah that lights up. 

Derek was cool on the idea of wearing something super tacky so instead, I found him one that has no class at all. It’s a winter theme, not a Christmas motif, and he is looking forward to wearing it!

sweater features a dog ignoring a fire hydrant and peeing on a snowman who is reacting angrilyIn a thrift store, I found a black cardigan that looks like a Christmas tree threw up on it. Even the buttons look like decorations and despite all of that, it’s very good quality. Someone put a lot of thought and money into deciding to add this eyesore to their winter wardrobe.

When I took it to the counter, the woman babbled excitedly about how she couldn’t wait to wear her own Christmas sweater, and that she had a Christmas vest as well. I couldn’t bear to tell her that I planned to wear my purchase ironically.

This is the holiday that bears down on us like an out-of-control locomotive. One minute it’s too early to put out decorations in stores. The next, you’re running out of days to get it all done. At least I know my husband and I will look tasteless and tacky when the occasion calls for it. 

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