Every bank and financial institution claims it can make things easier for us. Simplify your life! Make saving money a breeze! We’ll guide you through the process! My recent experience doing a teeny weenie bit of work for one of them was a wet mackerel to the forehead. Not easy at all.
First, allow me to open the umbrella of gratitude that will shelter this entire post. The project was to provide a voice-over as the inner voice of a character in a major TV ad. I’m thankful for the work and can’t wait to see/hear the finished product. But they have an unnecessarily complicated and frustrating payment process.
After an enjoyable recording session, I signed their three-page contract to confirm I was not entitled to royalties or any other compensation. Done.
Then I received a long email telling me, in great detail with a lot of extra words, that I would get an email about a vendor application. Instead of paying me through my agent, they wanted to pay me directly. For that to happen, I’d need to become a vendor.
The email with the links to the vendor application followed. I needed to fill that out. Done. Then I got another email asking me if I wanted to get paid via a method other than a cheque. If so, follow THIS link and add my preference. After that ordeal, I apparently did something wrong and I got an email titled “Your first notice that your profile isn’t complete”. It had a collections agency ring to it!
Back I went to do it all again, watch the submission circle of hell swirl until the process completed, and wait for the email telling me I did it right. That didn’t come. Instead, I got another “first notice” to let me know I got it wrong. I don’t have the necessary US tax information (for obvious reasons) and they’re threatening to withhold 30% of the fee. The implication: I’m lying and I’ll be penalized! Oh, and their payment terms are 60 days after I successfully submit the required forms.
Do you see, as I do, that this could have been completed with one email and one sitting at the computer?
The job I did consisted of six words. I had to say those six words many times over during the recording session, but it was just six words! My phone went “ping” as I was filling Derek in on the process. It was yet another email to admonish me for my failure to complete the form.
Finally, this arrived.
It feels like I have a penpal for life. They know everything about me except for my shoe size. I’ll save them the trouble: It’s 8M. They can feel free to pay me in footwear if it would be quicker and less hassle.