Chatty Catty

My humans have really lost it this time. Mother especially. She follows me around with her black rectangle in her hand, waiting for me to speak. Then she and father oooh and aaaah at the rectangle and tell me how wonderful I am. As if I’m not already aware!

They say it’s an app, whatever that is, called Meow Talk. It claims it will tell human beans what their cats are saying. As you know, bridging the communication gap between our species is my raison d’etre, parlez vous Francais? But I’m also a skeptic, just like when Father started mixing pumpkin puree, aka fibre, into my lunch.

Here’s an example. Mother caught my reaction in her rectangle as I was heading for the patio door to see what was happening outside.

Screenshot of the app shows an orange cartoon cat. The translation is "I'm hunting".

Wow – exactly right! I was hunting and she had the nerve to interrupt me. By the time I got to the glass door, there was nothing on the deck to intimidate. I was too late!

Then, she later rectangle-pounced on me while Father was giving me my morning scritch. This is our ritual, our “we” time for me and my fave human bean.

App translation is "I'm in love".

Hmmmmm. Maybe this app thing is onto something. Two for two!

Our last example came about when I was laying on my favourite ottoman, minding my own business. Up to my face comes the invasive rectangle in Mother’s hand.

App translation is "I'm resting".

That settles it. This app is genius! It knows my moods and my feelings. I’m suitably impressed.

Meow Talk is free for different types of rectangles wherever those things are found. And please, my dearest, rest assured that this is merely a casual recommendation, not a paid endorsement! Although my influence is available for purchase no one has yet offered the kind of scratch this kitty deserves!

Now, all the Meow Talk human beans need to do is create small kitty-sized rectangles that can be operated by the nudge of a pink nose or the twitch of a tail. On it, there should be an app thing that translates human to cat. That would be a feat! How I long to know the words of love Father says to me. I only sense his tone and know what he means. A product like that is something I could put my whiskers behind!

Oh, and the pumpkin puree? It’s working wonders on my digestive issues! This skeptic is convinced.

Until next Tuesday, my little mousers,

I remain your friend,

Miss Sugar

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