Everyone is familiar with the Man Cave, that secluded spot where the male head of the household can go alone to watch sports, or invite his buddies and maybe enjoy a stinky cigar without fear of reprisal. But what about the female head of the home? If Dad can have a cave, then Mom should have one too.
Unlike the Man Cave, the Mom Cave hasn’t caught on yet as a concept but its time has come, and not just because the kids are back in school. According to an unscientific poll conducted via my Facebook page, Moms asked about the concept of the Mom Cave reacted with enthusiasm bordering on giddiness. Just the opportunity to plan it seemed like a mini-getaway for these women for whom personal time is a foreign concept. Their ideas of Mom Caves mostly centred on the desire for a bit of quiet and control. Although the surroundings of a Mom Cave need to be beautiful, in most cases, the decor scheme was a lower priority than a good lock on the door.
Carolyn, Community Engagement Specialist for The United Way, is a busy Mom of two teens. Her ideal Mom Cave is all about relaxation.
“My Mom Cave would have to have wine and fancy cheeses to snack on with a bookcase full of great novels and the time to read them. A nice sunny spot to chill in with a nice, relaxing overstuffed chair or even better, an outdoor oasis with a hammock and private garden complete with a pond or a waterfall and flowers.”
A mother of three girls under the age of six, Lianne would like a child-and-man-proofed room to herself. Currently on mat leave from her broadcasting job, Lianne would choose to view something other than Dora the Explorer and enjoy a stronger beverage than what’s in a juice box.
“My Mom Cave would have Earl Grey tea, coffee, a bottle of Baileys when the need calls for it, and even a bottle of wine, preferably a Riesling, at the ready. I would have my iPad filled with unlimited eBooks and in the corner of the room a small TV that has a PVR with only MY shows. And I would sit on the most comfortable couch ever made. (The walls) coloured in a nice Minnesota green and the perfect amount of light. Big beautiful bay windows to overlook the garden, so if I wanted to check in on everyone, I could.”
Registered Nurse Dara is a Mom of four who, like all the Moms I polled, loves spending time with her kids. But she would also relish a little “me” time once in a while in her own Mom Cave.
“It would definitely have to be hidden so that no little knuckles come knocking. Maybe a secret ladder up to the attic, if it could be guaranteed spider-free, or a secret latch in the bookcase that opened a trap door. Inside there would obviously have to be ear plugs, or the room would have to be sound proof, because if a Mom hears the goings-on of her kids it’s impossible to not butt in, or worry about it, or feel guilty about it.
“Then I would have to have a Keurig coffee maker, my Starbucks bold blend, and a karaoke machine with unlimited songs. And a king-sized bed with no snoring partner, no kids to listen for, no buzzing baby monitors, and pillows and blankets galore.
“And for the moments that I’m not asleep (likely few and far between), I’d love to throw in a tunnel through which my best friend could come visit. Because a Mom Cave would only be complete with another Mom to share it.”